hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
