First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
