things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
