Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
