Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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