Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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