I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
