My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I stole a fireplace last night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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