Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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