loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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