Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
