even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
