If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
