Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
