My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
