I feel like I'm in dance class right now
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
