She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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