It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
then he tried to convert me to islam
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
