Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
