if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
