she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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