i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
