Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
