so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
