Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
