I'm drive I can fine osifer
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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