god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
