was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
