i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
