This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
