Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
