He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
there was a trapeze. enough said
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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