were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
