Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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