By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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