i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I CAN MOONWALK!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
someone owes me an orgasm
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
