summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
