I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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