my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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