its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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