We're facebook friends in real life
I can text with my tongue
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
