I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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