when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
