i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
