If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You ate ashes out of my bong
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
