Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
