the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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