great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
