and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
