i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
