Already got asked if we're dating
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
