This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I came so hard my ears popped.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
